Craig Carton: Big Fan of "Make-Up" Sex

     In a world where's it's become credible to take quotes from anonymous sources and pawn them off as real, hard-hitting news stories (see Manish Mehta), we here at The Toy Department got our hands on a gem of a story. A pair of very credible sources within WFAN, albeit anonymous, have confirmed that co-host of Boomer & Carton In The Morning, Craig Carton, has been caught by a private investigator hired by his wife Kim, engaging in sexual activity with the show's makeup artist, whom we'd prefer not to mention by name (but if you listen to or watch the show, you can figure it out). Since the affair has surfaced within WFAN, the aforementioned makeup artist has mysteriously disappeared from the program. 
     "We all know what happened around here," said one anonymous WFAN employee, "but it'll just get swept under the carpet."
     Carton, a man who loves reporting rumor as fact on his show, would undoubtedly report this story if it involved any other prominent person in the New York sports scene. 
     "Carton is a big jerk, listeners know it and they think it's his on-air persona, but no, that's how his co-workers think of him too. Now he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar," said the other WFAN employee.
     It would indeed appear that he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or more accurately, with his penis in the makeup girl. 

     The Toy Department has reached out to Boomer & Carton's producers as well as Craig Carton and the Makeup girl via Twitter.  More to come...

-Trip McFeely

***The above quotes are paraphrased, because honestly who quotes people word-for-word these days?  Plus, The Toy Department doesn't have room in the budget for a tape recorder.***