It's Amateur Hour. Ladies Drink Free.

Jarvis here...

Well, Trip went ahead and put us on the map yesterday, how about that? I'll have to remember that when his annual review comes around. Wait, am I the boss, or is he? Doesn't matter...

So I just wanted to remind everyone out there in the blogosphere that yes, The Toy Department is indeed Amateur Hour. We don't get paid for this. In fact, Trip & I both have day jobs. Trip drives the Staten Island Ferry & I teach guitar to asshole middle-schoolers for shit money & discounts on distortion pedals. Sure, I meet the available single mother every once and a while, but it ain't a glamorous life. We like baseball. We respect most professional athletes. And, obviously, we've got a big fucking problem with sports reporters.  I believe I covered most of this in the Toy Department Manifesto.

Beat writers are going to continue to talk shit & we're going to continue to shit on them. Andy Martino blocked us on Twitter. He's a big wimp. David Lennon has a PO Box in Middle Earth. And Marty Noble loves chicken fingers. It isn't rocket science, it's sports reporting. I've met Luis Castillo. He's a good dude. He stinks, but he's a good dude.

And we're going to keep using profanity. Cock weasel.

-Jarvis O'Dell

Also, a few people queried about submissions. Go ahead and send them to toydepartment1@yahoo.com & we'll take a look and see if you're worthy enough for the high standards of our amateurish blog.