Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Craig Carton: Big Fan of "Make-Up" Sex

     In a world where's it's become credible to take quotes from anonymous sources and pawn them off as real, hard-hitting news stories (see Manish Mehta), we here at The Toy Department got our hands on a gem of a story. A pair of very credible sources within WFAN, albeit anonymous, have confirmed that co-host of Boomer & Carton In The Morning, Craig Carton, has been caught by a private investigator hired by his wife Kim, engaging in sexual activity with the show's makeup artist, whom we'd prefer not to mention by name (but if you listen to or watch the show, you can figure it out). Since the affair has surfaced within WFAN, the aforementioned makeup artist has mysteriously disappeared from the program. 
     "We all know what happened around here," said one anonymous WFAN employee, "but it'll just get swept under the carpet."
     Carton, a man who loves reporting rumor as fact on his show, would undoubtedly report this story if it involved any other prominent person in the New York sports scene. 
     "Carton is a big jerk, listeners know it and they think it's his on-air persona, but no, that's how his co-workers think of him too. Now he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar," said the other WFAN employee.
     It would indeed appear that he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, or more accurately, with his penis in the makeup girl. 

     The Toy Department has reached out to Boomer & Carton's producers as well as Craig Carton and the Makeup girl via Twitter.  More to come...

-Trip McFeely

***The above quotes are paraphrased, because honestly who quotes people word-for-word these days?  Plus, The Toy Department doesn't have room in the budget for a tape recorder.***


  1. Two anonymous sources? Sounds more like water cooler talk than an actual story

  2. Every beat writer in this city uses the "anonymous" label to protect their sources within the organization. We just did the same thing. Therefore, according unspoken journalistic rules, our story can be taken just as seriously.

  3. Dominique called into the show today,(1/20) she got a new job at a place called Glitter, this article is absolute trash. Get a life.

    1. That call-in was clearly a desperate attempt at damage control. She worked at Glitter the whole time she worked at WFAN. And please, it's inappropriate to use the female in question's name. Remember when Craig took 2 days off when Nantz came into studio? He claimed he was "sick." The truth is he had just gotten caught by the P.I. in a hotel and was attempting to cover up his mess. Don't be so naive.

      You're trash.