Morning Sickness 3/27/11

I dove into two columns this morning that got a bit of a rise out of me...

The first one was from my buddy David Lennon from Newsday.  Now I know what you're thinking:  Newsday still exists? Why yes it does.  And it houses one of my favorite punching bags, Mr. David Lennon.  Today, Lennon's big, shiny forehead wrote this:  If Beltran's rusty, back-date him on DL

My interpretation:  Lennon took a page out of my last lesson,  Journalism 102 and is covering his own ass by making a strong case for the Mets to start Carlos Beltrán on the DL.  Why is he doing this you ask?  Because for the last two weeks, Lennon has been firmly vowing that Beltrán will not start the season with the big club.  He's written that sentiment, he's tweeted it (which will be part of a whole new blog entry on Opening Day), he even went on TV (with the sun glaring off of his big, shiny forehead) and declared "(Beltrán's) going to be on the DL to start the season."  So with opening day only 5 days away, it's looking more and more like Beltrán will be trotting out to right field with the big club, and more and more like Lennon and most of his fellow beat writers will be wrong with their mighty predictions.  So Lennon has to write this column and try to make comparisions to the decision of activating Beltrán to something the old regime might do.  Blah blah blah.  We all want to see Carlos out there, he's a big boy, shut up Lennon, you're wrong (as usual).


The next column that got my blood boiling was from The Bergen Record's Steve Popper.  Today, he wrote this piece of crap: Beltran plays, but he's far from a big hit

This article contains a pair of quotes that enraged me and ruined my pleasant Sunday morning...


Quote 1: "Beltran took an optimistic view of his performance, happy that he felt no pain in his knees. And that might be as good as it gets for him these days, hoping to get through as a shadow of the player he once was, but healthy enough to get in the lineup."

My response:  Seriously Popper?  Keep your opinion out of it!  "A shadow of the player he once was"?  I mean what in your athletic past gives you the right to assess any real athlete's ability?  Did you play in a pickup wiffle ball game last week and not fall down running to first base and now you're the ultimate judge of athletic prowess?  You're a dick!

Quote 2: "In right field he looked bored at times, which is part of the adjustment, too."

My response:  Kinda like I look when I read you're God-awful columns, Pooper!  I can't believe your editor let you print this line you douche!  "...he looked bored," or focused, or ready, or like he was playing the outfield waiting for some action you jerkoff!

I hate these idiots!

-Trip McFeely