Jarvis here...
Well, it's that time of year again. Opening Day. Baseball is back. There's a renewed reason to believe. The sky is blue...the sun is shining...the birds are singing (and the bees are trying to have sex with them, as is my understanding)...
Another glorious marathon of our national pastime. Going to the ballpark. A beer, a dog, the possibility of a foul ball. Clean uniforms. Clean scorecards. Everybody is tied for 1st. Everybody leads the league in every statistical category. I mean...today just might be the greatest day ev--
Wait...what? The Mets aren't even playing today? Bay might be on the DL? What the fuck is this all about? And it's raining now, too? DAY RUINED. SEASON RUINED. S-H-I-T.
When does football start? Wait...what about the upcoming football season?!
-Jarvis O'Dell
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